That Time I Remembered Your Bitterness


I lie alone in that lonely room,
White wallpaper willingly and wistfully
whispering for my collapse.
She would have wanted it that way.

There was a grimness I couldn’t escape.
Gnawing deeply at my open heart wounds,
bleeding messily and mercilessly across the once,
clean floor. She asked for it to be this way.

I gargled blood when our friends came over,
leaving me alone and in the dark.
I was left lonesome in these thoughts of loss and longing.
While they partied on. It was her birthday after all.

They watched me love that lonesome love.
With a new person who only new to punch and plead,
to claw out the heartache that kept bleeding.
It was they who kept my last laugh, lost and longing.

I felt like the veil of evil, drowned in thoughts of doubt.
Dread didn’t seem like a valid excuse.
I couldn’t ignore you, couldn’t find an excuse through the pain.
The pain she promised me I deserved.